Dear Jokes

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol"

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that you rude girl"

You: "Your mom gay lol"

Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken

Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.

Dear algebra, I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

Dear Orphans, I have a better orphanage for you, Its my basement :)

What grade does Sherlock hits on girls from?

Elementary my dear Watson

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

(People will then say r)

Arrr, you think it be r but really it's the C that they love.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material and your internet will be cut off.

Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

dear doctor

ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly Ray Palp

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk...

His wife was up waiting for him...

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet

I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally

https://www.memedroid.com/memes/detail/3779410/Oh-dear

oh dear i made a backwards ray lets test it..ti stel yar sdawkcab a edam i read ho

Dear Kenya love of life thanks for commenting on my jokes and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞! Love u a milion times more!

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."

The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough.–Pluto

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :)

-Dark_Humor