What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
