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Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

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    • "What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

    "Cancer."

    Kid: I want to be like Batman.

    Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

    Genie: I told you.

    Kid: .............................................

    Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

    Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

    The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

    My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

    My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

    I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

    Yesterday I had a party.

    I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

    I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

    My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.