Day Jokes

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕 and the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!! comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

So In revenge of the sixth when Anakin goes and kills the younglings I thought to myself hey it’s just another day in an American school

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of there lives.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon) found my self at the same stop.

what do you call nitrogen in the day?- you call it day-trogen!

I got detention one day, I don’t know why I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist

one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day unfortunately it ended me in hospital tho icu

God You’re having a good day? Me yes beats burning in hell

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!!!

Peace out!!!! <3

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella, the next day, your in court and Cinderella is the witness. ( P.S. she was born to be a drama queen. )