A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*
Now 14y.o. : Oh...
what did the man say to his wife? "MAKE ME A DAMN SANDWICH WOMAN!"
So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”
So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
TDS- Too Damn Slow
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb... A: Not Three. My damn basement is still dark...
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind yo f...ing buisnes like damn
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain? "Damn bro, you got an ankle spring"
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an englishman. He says things like,
"It's a elevator, not'a lift!"
and
"It's bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the englishman says,
"Hey wankar, it's a school, not a god damned shootin range."
What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Hey fatboy why are you so damn fat? Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia
So I made a simple cancer joke on roblox with my friend an then both hers dumb ass friends we're like, OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!! THAT PISSED ME OFF like damn woman it's not like I said, IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB ASSES. If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH
the sad thing is when they ride the scooters in wal mart.....really you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with.....and damned if they arent buying diet soda.....please....cull this shit...we dont need them in society...kfc is not a disease
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED Fell papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
