New Dad Jokes - Page 30 - Worst Jokes Ever

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

Ask A Orphan This- "Whats the difference between cancer and ur dad, cancer comes back."

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

Why did the Orphan cross the road? To find they way store to see they dad

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

my dad died in 911... he was the best pilot I know

My dad died in 911.... He was a good driver

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Dad joke.

Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?

Because of a hole in one!

Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

I had a dad

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.