My dad died in 911.... He was a good driver
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
I like sucking the twin towers off but then i forgot dad already finished the job.
I had a dad
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said “don’t bother sweeping him son, hes been dusted for years” I was shocked but not surprised.
My mom is the FBI My dad is the FBI my sister is the FBI my brother is the FBI and do you know what i am?
Divorced
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage He should just go to his mom and dad
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
why is my dad gone
idk
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Why do orphans like boomerangs.Because they come back unlike their dad.
10 years ago my dad said i should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... i still eat cereal with water sadly
