Cure jokes
Derek Humphrey actually found the cure for Alzheimer's.
Just smother Alzheimer's patients with trash bags.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.