Cry jokes
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
I hate crying.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.