Cry jokes
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*