Cry Jokes

Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".

The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".

The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel it's skin off.

Did you hear about the new emo pizza? it cuts itself.

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

what's the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

are you sad then don't be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

1273 depression got the best of me, i'm gonna cry in my room now

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it's a failed stunt.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry. -

Until I threw a watermelon in her face

~Robin

The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home

Me- *crying in the shower* Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

if your depressed and you crying like this joke

What's the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn't cry when I break it's legs

When the people that see u Cry that doesn't mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath🐑💨

why did the kid cry? his dad didn't get the milk

Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real