Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert? (Part 1) To NAVIGATE his way through the CROWD
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd JUMP
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt everyone yelled tsunami!
My girlfriend dumped me so I stole her weel chair she came crowding back
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in
[concert] SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight CROWD: woo ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you. That face needing some laughing pills.
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd? I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay.
He couldn't shoot straight
What is long and black, the line at Popeyes
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and hell must be crowded.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray”
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval. I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah. Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.” My friend was the only one who laughed
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded
Human trafficking
