Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
