Cross jokes
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
Retard. Retard. Retarded. Abortion. Cross burning.
Look at me, I'm funny and edgy.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.