Cross jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.