Crack jokes
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Which country makes me crack the fuck up?
LAUGHghanistan.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
What does the fox say?
"Fuck" "FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
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Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.