Crack jokes
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Stephen Hawking tried to crack Abutu.