Cover jokes

Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?

Sticky Minaj.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?

An apple bag. 😜

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks!

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?

Because they have all the angles covered.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.