"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! ππππ
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
I donβt see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
