Court jokes
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
me to fake acc
What did the lawyer name his twins? COURTney and CASEy.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.