Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the studio?
Because they wanted to drop some HOOPS
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
Justice for all!
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970 and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband. She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband. He was a christian so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? the bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes it does and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? Thats not funny.
I'll tell ya whats funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Why is an orphan bad a at tennis?
Cuz eh couldn't get any love
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella, the next day, your in court and Cinderella is the witness. ( P.S. she was born to be a drama queen. )
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT", she thought it's a food court, and order 20 big macs and got a heart attack
yo mamma so fat when she said order in the court she really meant burger's and fries
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get? Answer: Love
