Court jokes

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Why are basketball courts slippery?

Because the players dribble on it.

What was the score to the African basketball game? It was 8-0.

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

Man's hairline is back-court violation!

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the studio?

Because they wanted to drop some hoops.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.