Court jokes
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
Man's hairline is back-court violation!
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.