Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
