why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
because he had no BODY to go with.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
So me and my friend dressed as dead people for halloween only difference in costume was he was dead
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn't he skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it's Michelle."
What does a South African batman wear? A cape.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
To start im a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
Well tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party : He had nobody to go with
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider Man? Well, he weaved a really tangled web and Aunt May saw it.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
