Clause jokes
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"