Consumption jokes
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Suck all the bread!
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Why does my mum eat carrots?
One time I ate a chair.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.