Construction jokes
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.
What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.
But what is similar is tha-
Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!
Sorry 'bout that......
Now, as I was saying,
What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.
Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
Which room has no doors and no windows?
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.