Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
Hey wanna hear a construction joke? -sure Oh sorry I'm still working on it :-]
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What is the similarity between pink floyd and Donald trump: The best thing they did was a wall
