Construction jokes
Walls.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
Where is the wall's favorite place to meet his friends?
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.