Conflict jokes
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RX XD INBOUND!
This is about Gwen.
I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
I declare war on Gwen!
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.