Conflict jokes
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RX XD INBOUND!
This is about Gwen.
I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
I declare war on Gwen!
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.