Computer jokes

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.

Don’t fart in an Apple Store.

It has no Windows.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

What does a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabytes.

How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?