Computer jokes
Joe Biden deez nuts.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."