Computer jokes
Joe Biden deez nuts.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
What's the code thing on Minecraft that decides the world generation?
Seed?
Seedeeznuts!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one!"
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.