Competition jokes
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"