Competition jokes

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.

There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.

Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.

Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.

Q: Why did Sally get beat up?

A: She couldn’t fight back.

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?

Gasar.

Why did the African win the food eating contest?

Beginner's luck.

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

Your mom finishes.

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

Why do cheetahs always win?

Because they cheat!

Why can’t orphans play sports?

Because they don’t have a home team.

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I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.