What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Bend over and spell run.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
Why do cheetahs always win? Because they cheat
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
