Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Why can’t Orphans play sports? Because they don’t have a home team
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
The Gold Coast Titans winning the NRL. Best joke ever.
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
