Comparison jokes
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.