Comparison jokes
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.