Comparison jokes

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's the difference between my mum and my dad?

My mum stayed.

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

Me: Cobain!

Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.

Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.

What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your meat.

What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Women are like dogs...

"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"

"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"

"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."

SHOES

The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.