Comparison

Comparison jokes

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

They're both pointless.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."