Comparison jokes
Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.