Comparison

Comparison Jokes

Orphan

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

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  • Donald Trump

    All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

    After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

    Difference

    What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

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  • Mp5

    Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

    Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

    Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

    Feminist

    What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

    At least one does something when it is triggered.

    Battery

    What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

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  • Man

    A fat man meets a skinny man.

    The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

    And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

    Trash

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

    Computer

    What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

    Ego

    If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

    Women

    I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.

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  • Twin Towers

    What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

    Emo

    What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

    Gay Man

    What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

    Emo kid

    What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

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  • 9/11

    What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?

    McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.

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  • Michael Jackson

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.

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