Comparison jokes
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.