Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
