Comparison

Comparison Jokes

Sibling

I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.

9/11

I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.

Mom

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

Difference

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

Dinosaur

What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

The dinosaur once existed.

Difference

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

β€œWe don’t eat with our peckers.”

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  • Table

    What's the difference between a man and a table?

    The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.

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  • Blowjob

    πŸ€” What do gay men who are physically handicapped β™Ώ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when πŸ€” he has another man's 😍 πŸ˜‹ 😜 😏 😳 πŸ˜‰ cock inside πŸ˜‹ of his warm mouth πŸ‘„ πŸ‘„ give a πŸ‘ πŸ‘ good blowjob?

    Baby

    What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

    I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.

    Armor

    Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?

    Leather armor is made of hide.

    Scale

    On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?

    Washing Machine

    What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?

    The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.

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  • Mercedes

    What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

    I don’t have a Mercedes.

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  • Baby

    what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

    nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

    Feminist

    What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

    Woman

    Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!