What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...