Come-on jokes
"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Don't do gay jokes, come on guys.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!