Come-on jokes

"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."

"No, not until their parents pick them up."

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.

Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

Don't do gay jokes, come on guys.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Michael Jackson is pure cheese.

I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.

God creating bees.

God: "Put a needle on their butt."

Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"

God: "Make its puke delicious."

Angel: "WTF"

I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

A mushroom walked into a pub.

He asked the bartender to give him a beer.

The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."

The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"