What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Do you want to hear a cold joke ? Can't It warmed
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
What do a bee from America called?.........a USB
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
African Kid - "Mom can we have water?" Mum - "Sure it's in the house." African Kid - *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water* The fridge - ERROR 404 Water Not Found
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You canāt come in, youāve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothingās been canceled." Kili: "Thatās a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "Itās nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, itās been in the family for years. Thatās my motherās glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiĀli, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Letās shove this in the hole, or otherwise weāll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. Thereās nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! Thereās far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockheadās idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
why is the orphan cold cause there no one to cuddle with
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
One time a kid came to the hospital and said āI really need helpā, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said āyes I am really hotā and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said āare you sure, you look amazingā and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
