Coffin jokes
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.