Clock jokes
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
After 12, it's lunch. 馃槀
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 馃枑 meets the little 馃.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson鈥檚 house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It鈥檚 about time.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you鈥檝e consumed time?
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.