Clock jokes
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.