Clock jokes
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.