Clock jokes
What time eeeeeee?
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
Memes
Me everyday
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
What type of clock is both cringe and an app?
TikTok.
I don't have time to write this joke.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.