Clock jokes
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.