Clinic jokes
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic? Free dog food.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.