Clinic jokes
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."