Clinic jokes

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?

- He smelled veal.

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

"I'd love to give everyone another shot."

Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.

Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?

A: You don't have to buy dog food.

The only thing worse for a man than the end of the world is a testicular clinic.

Mamma mia abortion clinic!

Your loss is our sauce.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.

Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.

When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.

The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:

"Num num num num num!"

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

This is Riley abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.