Clinic jokes
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”