Clinic jokes
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office? Only one of them is scared.