Clinic jokes
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.