Clinic

Clinic Jokes

Fly

Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?

A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"

Doctor

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Doctor

A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."

Rabbit

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

Abortion

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Abortion clinic

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

Dentist

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Abortion

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

Fetus

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

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  • Shark

    Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

    Because dead babies make the best chum! :)

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  • Temperature

    The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

    Alley

    What's green and has a thousand nipples?

    A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

    Abortion

    My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

    It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

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