City jokes
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
Theyβre already getting closer.
The Philthydelphia Eagles.
That's it. That's the joke.
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Why can't New York City play chess?
Because they lost 2 towers!
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.