Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee.

Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

Chuck Norris sneezed and sent 2 planes flying... on September 11, 2001.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

How do Chinese people name their babies?

They chuck a pan down the stairs.

Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!