Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.

Horses ride him.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.

Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?